Oh, Back to School.... Back to School...

Up until two days ago, I had planned to be a stay at home mommy (SAHM). I was really excited to stay home with Topher and just focus on being a mom and wife and housekeeper and all that. However...

The last 48 hours have drastically changed my plans.

So much has happened so fast that it's almost a big blur in my mind already. I will try to be as detailed as possible, so get comfortable cuz this is gonna be a novel. Hopefully your butt won't fall asleep.

Jay and I have been stressed out about money all summer long. Two days ago we finally came to the conclusion that financially we can't survive unless I make money. I figured, okay, I'll substitute teach a couple days a week.

Yesterday morning I went to Alpine District to fill out substitute paperwork. I found out subs only make $70 a day, then once they take out taxes and I pay for childcare, that's just not enough even if I subbed 5 days a week!!!
Next option: part time teaching?? Nope. No part time or specialist jobs available.

Then I find out a new 5th grade job just posted at Pony Express, the elem school right by my house. For those of you who don't know, I've been teaching at Sandy Elem the past 2 years and I LOVE it there, but it's about 35 minutes away. So that's over an hour out of my day just commuting. So the idea of teaching 1 minute from my house sounded great. Plus, my good friend Natalie teaches 5th grade at Pony Express so I'd get to be on her team and how fun would that be?!? Also, Pony Express is extended day school so I'd get paid I'm guessing like $5000 more than I got at Sandy. Sounds fabulous, right?

There were some downfalls. First, it's 5th grade. I've loved teaching 6th and it would be hard for me to switch back to 5th. Next, I'd have to be in a trailer outside... picture packing 32 eleven-year-olds in like a 20x20 room. Yikes. Then there's the whole "starting over" thing. I wouldn't know anyone (except Nat), I wouldn't know the programs or how the school works or anything. That would be stressful.

So, all thoughts considered I decided to apply for this job. I filled out & sent the application online last night. Natalie had told me that several others had already applied and so it wasn't a sure thing I would get the job, but I decided that I needed to be prepared in case I did get it. Teaching in a trailer with no storage is hard, and I had left some bookshelves at Sandy Elem just cuz I had no place in my house to keep them and I figured I wouldn't need them but if I got the trailer job I'd definitely need them, so that leads me to this morning.

I hopped in the jeep to drive to Sandy Elem with the soul purpose of picking up my bookshelves.

Wait a sec, flashback to yesterday again for a minute. I called my friend Melissa who taught with me at Sandy to ask her opinion on applying for the Pony Express job. I commented to her how if I had to go back to teaching full time I wish I could just come back to Sandy and she told me she would be so happy if I did but that she thought our principal had hired someone to take my place earlier this week so that was an impossibility.

Okay now, back to me in the jeep this morning. I get to Sandy Elem at 8:15 and as I walk in the front doors I figure I'll stop to say hi to my principal. Her name is Sandra. Isn't that funny? Sandra is the principal at Sandy. Haha. Okay, game on. Sandra & Jodi (Vice Principal) are sitting in Sandra's office and she's basically got her hand on the telephone when I walk in. They seem really excited/surprised to see me and as we start talking I tell them I have to go back to teaching and that I had applied for the Pony Express job and I was just there to get bookshelves but how I missed everyone at Sandy so much. I'll paraphrase, but this is basically what she said:

"Ashley, I can't believe you just walked through the door at this exact moment. I was just about to call this girl to offer her your job. She's okay, but not super amazing. We've interviewed tons of people and just can't find someone who we love to take your place. If you want to come back, your job is yours again. No questions asked. We want you back..." yadda yadda.

By this time it was 8:45am and she told me to go think about it and get back to her by 10am cuz if I said no then she had to call that other girl and offer her the job.

So.... I spent the next half hour bawling and calling everyone and talking to teachers that were there at school and freaking out cuz I didn't know what to do. I LOVE Sandy, the only thing is it's a long drive. Plus if I got the Pony Express job by my house it would be more money. I was praying hard to know what decision to make.

Then as I started walking up and down the halls of Sandy Elementary I started to feel really calm and happy and I knew that if I set all the pros & cons aside and just went with my gut feelings, Sandy was still the right place for me. Back to my very first thought from yesterday: If I have to go back to teaching full time, I wish I could go back to Sandy.

This has been forever long, huh? SORRY! Thanks for staying with me! Can't you tell this was a HUGE deal for me?? SO much drama!! I'll try to wrap it up quick:

10am: I told Sandra & Jodi yes. Going back to Sandy Elementary. To the team I love. To the faculty I love. To the students I love. To my classroom I love. To the JOB I LOVE.

So now back to being a mommy. I am still sad I can't be a SAHM. But I'm being super positive about it. You know how many working moms there are in the world?? LOTS! And I'll be fine, and Topher will be fine, and I'll still be a great mommy. My neighbors are gonna watch him for me and they are fabulous so I'm not worried about that. Oh, and I gotta mention Jay: he was amazingly supportive of me today. He basically said for me to choose what I wanted and he'd support me in my decision. Isn't he awesome? Love him.

And hey, maybe if we can save tons of money this year I can try being a SAHM next year. But right now I'm totally frazzled and can't think straight so I'll worry about next year when it comes. Speaking of frazzled, school starts in 3 weeks! YIKES! I gotta go set up my classroom (again) grrr! That was dumb of me to take everything down! But plans change and we gotta roll with the punches. My friend Marie has a quote on her blog that says "Come what may and love it". Totally works for me right now.

So thanks for listening. I SWEAR I will never put you through a blog this massive again! If you made it this far, I owe you cookies! Let me know and I'll deliver!


MORAL OF THE STORY: I'm a teacher again!!!

I'm holding back.

I realize I haven't blogged in almost a month and that's just really sad because I really do have a lot to say. The reason that I have been holding back is because I have a bajillion super cute pictures (mostly of Topher) that I want to get on here but I'm just too lazy to get them downloaded off the camera. Maybe one day this week I will get my butt in gear. So for now, just know that we are alive and well and be watching for a totally amazing pic-filled blog coming soon.