Sad day for a teacher.

I know I haven't posted pics from Topher's b-day parties... and I haven't updated on anything that has happened over the past two weeks...
But I need to blog about this right now because I want to remember how sad I feel. Is that weird? Probably. But even the saddest, most devastating moments in our lives need to be documented. So here it is.

I was wandering around on facebook and I found one of my students from my first year of teaching. I was his fifth grade teacher and now he's a freshman in high school. I got really excited as I started looking at his friend's list and finding a BUNCH of my students from my first year! This was back when Cedar Middle School was still Cross Hollows Intermediate for you Cedarians. I added a bunch of them as friends and we started catching up; where are they now, how do they like school, what do they remember from my class, etc.

Unfortunately, not all the catching up was good news.

To make a long story short, I just finished reading an obituary. One of my students, Shawn, died July 28, 2009. I called my mom to ask if she knew any details. Was it an accident? Illness? No. Suicide. He hung himself.

I am heartbroken. I am bawling my eyes out. He was only 14 years old. He was charming, sort of a trouble maker, but charismatic and persuasive, a real smooth-talker. Wild imagination, lots of fun and spunk. His picture from his obituary looks just like I remember him. I just went through a bunch of pictures from that year. I remember all my students names, every single one. I remember specific random memories that make it feel like it was just last year, not five years ago.
I can't believe one of my students is dead. That's just not supposed to happen. I love these kids like my own, while they're in my class and forever after. I am just so sad right now.

An hour ago I was dreading going back to school tomorrow. Now I can't wait to get there and hug my students and tell them I love them.

Topher's Birthday Week!

Topher's birthday is Wednesday, Feb. 3. However, we decided to have a party at our house in Eagle Mountain tomorrow night (Feb. 2). We invited probably 30 family and friends, I'm excited to see how many show up. We're just gonna do pizza, cake, open presents, and call it good. I have been BAKING nonstop for two days! I did a big cake, cupcakes, and a "smash cake" for Topher (which I am SOO EXCITED about!) I'll be sure to take pictures!

Then we're having another party Saturday afternoon, Feb. 6 down in Cedar. It'll just be my immediate family and a few friends. I'm really glad Topher gets to celebrate his birthday with Jay's family and my family. And all our great friends!

I can't believe my baby is turning 1. I can't believe it's been a whole year. Several times a day I ask myself, "How did this happen?!?" I really don't know where the time goes.

Happy Birthday, Topher Gopher!

Pageants

I am so excited for the Miss America Pageant this weekend! Ten years ago, who would've ever thought that I'd end up being a pageant girl? HA! Definitely not me! But I am so glad I got involved in pageants. I made a lot of new friends, got to wear pretty dresses, improved my performing and interview skills, and most importantly I got to learn a lot about myself. I love reminiscing about the good 'ol pageant days. My favorite part of last summer was when my friend Natalie asked me to judge the Miss Lehi Outstanding Teen pageant. It was an amazing experience! So much fun!! It's crazy how easy it is to click right back into "pageant-mode".

If anybody wants to watch Miss America with me, come on over!

Topher has croup.

He coughed yesterday a little bit and throughout the night. This morning when I dropped him off to my neighbor I told her to call me and I'd come get him if he got bad. She never called, so I didn't worry. But when I picked him up at 4pm she said I should take him to the dr cuz he sounded really bad and had coughed all day. He still eats and plays and seems ok most of the time, but he really does hack pretty bad. So we went to instacare and the doctor checked him out. It's croup. We got a prescription and I'm staying home from school tomorrow and Friday to keep him home with me. Hopefully it'll pass quickly and he'll be back to his normal healthy funny self!

Why does this have to happen the week that Jay is in Florida and I'm all alone?!?! Argh! Come home, Jay! I need you!!

P.S. This picture was from a few weeks ago. He came home from the sitter with this little eye-bruise mark. I just wanted a pic of him looking sullen since this post is about him being sick. This picture seems to work.

Lonely.

Jay is flying out tomorrow morning. He's going to Orlando until Saturday night. I hate it when he's gone. It'll be a fun trip for him because between meetings they get to go to Disneyworld for a day. But still, I hate being without him.

Good thing I have Topher and Rusty to entertain me.

I *heart* the Jazz!

I love basketball season. We are sooo into the Jazz games, we usually watch them all on TV but we got to go to one in December. Jay's dad and grandpa came with us. We sat in Jay's work seats which are halfway up the lower bowl, really good seats! It was a really fun game; I think the people around us started to get sick of me being obnoxious and screaming so loud (especially when Kyle went in... it was his first game back after injury and I was EXTREMELY excited about it!) Unfortunately they lost by 2 points right at the buzzer, it was sort of depressing. I still don't understand how they can beat all the awesome teams and then lose to the crappy teams! Anyway, we love the Jazz and hope they do good the rest of the season... maybe even make the playoffs??? Let's hope!

New Pics from Christmas Break